How auto-DMs are ruining your marketing mojo and making everyone uncomfortable.

So you’ve got this shiny new Twitter account and blog and website with bright colors and you’re super psyched about it. Everything looks great. Let’s say that you’re peddling discount travel. Everyone likes to travel right? So you start following people on Twitter that use keywords like “vacation” and “getaway” and “flight” and “airport” and “terminal” and “stewardess” and “plane” and “overworked and underpaid.”

Awesome, right? You’re finding new potential customers and you’re rocking the shit outta life. Good job, buddy. Then you think, “you know what would be awesome? If all of my new followers get a super-sweet message ‘personalized’ by ME!” So you send them to every single person that follows your discount travel Twitter account. You pat yourself on the back for streamlining the process of meeting people and sit back and crack open a beer.

By the time your beer is halfway finished, you notice something. A bunch of the people who recently followed you back are gone. Poof. They’re dropping you like it’s hot. They’re running away from you like you have some kind of leprosy or something. You spit the beer in your mouth across your desk. “How could this happen?,” you wonder.

Well, get comfortable, because I’m about lay some truth eggs and when they hatch, those truthlings are gonna grow up and kick your ass, little man.

I love the analogy of Twitter as a huge cocktail party. Everyone is talking and groups are forming and everyone is having a good time sharing the latest news or the article that they just read or how they wish that there was a SXSW in Chicago and why the hell is it in Austin anyways? What’s so cool about Austin? Oh, it’s warm? Oh, ok.

So yeah. Everyone is talking to each other and a new guy walks into the room. He’s got a nametag and he seems nice enough, so they acknowledge him and a few say what’s up and everything is cool. Then things get weird. He systematically approaches everyone in the room and gets about an inch from their ear and with a raspy voice whispers, “hey, what’s up? Wanna visit my website? It’ll only take a minute and you won’t regret it…” Now I don’t care what your breath smells like and what you’re wearing, I just don’t like people that I don’t know whispering in my ear.

Here’s what many marketers don’t seem to understand about Twitter. No one likes a creepy guy whispering in their ear.

That being said, there are 3 ways that you can communicate with people on Twitter: you can send a general tweet, send an @ reply, or send a DM (direct message).

As I said in yesterday’s post, a general tweet is like walking into a crowded room and saying something to no one in particular. You run a serious risk of people not taking you seriously, or more likely, just ignoring you. But that’s fine. You didn’t care if anyone in particular heard you in the first place.

The second form, the @ reply, is kind of confusing to some people. It’s like tapping someone you know on the shoulder and having a face to face conversation. Everyone can hear you, but it’s cool because you aren’t saying anything private or scandalous, right?

The third form, the DM, is where marketers seem to run into trouble. When you DM someone, it’s like whispering in their ear. It’s a familiarity thing really. You wouldn’t like it if some guy that you didn’t know on the bus were to pony up next to you and whisper in your ear, right? Well the same goes for the Twittersphere. If you don’t actually know someone, don’t DM them unless you have something very pertinent to say that can’t be shared in an @ reply.

Follow this last rule, and you’ll avoid being unfollowed on Twitter. Or pepper sprayed.